“Challenge Accepted” by Cait Seymour, Fiat Ventures
Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Today’s readings speak directly to the heart of our faith. The messages we hear are challenging, to say the least. In the second reading, we are reminded of the connection between freedom and responsibility. My mother always told me what I’m sure many of us heard growing up: with much freedom comes much responsibility. It is a value that we have embraced as Americans, as Christians, and as decent human beings. But it is hard! “Love your neighbor as yourself.” For me, this is the most difficult challenge that God asks of me. Sure we’ve heard that since we were kids; “treat others the way you want to be treated.” But an aspect of that we don’t usually think about is treating others “as they want to be treated”, which sometimes is just as important.
Gary Chapman wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. The basic premise is that people give and receive love in five different ways: gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. The Golden Rule dictates that I love others as I want to be loved. For me, that means showing my love with physical touch and acts of service. In other words, I show you that I love you by giving you a hug and then loading your dishwasher. And I appreciate it so much when my family members do little odd jobs for me, because to me it means that I am loved. I may not remember what gift you got for my birthday, but I’ll remember how you hugged me on a random Tuesday. How do you give love? How do you prefer to receive love?
For a long time I assumed that everyone spoke the same language of love, and that I was a good person and a loving Christian if I demonstrated to them how I view love. It took me a while to realize that while this is a good start, other people may need to receive love in a different way. For example, giving someone a small thoughtful gift that I picked up for them. Or for me to write a letter telling them how important they are for me. The Golden Rule is that I treat others the way I want to be treated, but thinking about the ways others will most experience God’s love coming to us could be called the Platinum Rule. That involves getting to know the other person on a deeper level. That involves sacrificing my own ideas and feelings for the sake of understanding and responding the other person’s.
In my view, the most hopeful thing about our faith is this idea, that we are called to love the whole world as we love ourselves. But it also scares me, challenges me, and pushes me to look inside myself for the very best that my heart has to offer. Today’s reading makes me smile, and it also makes me worry. I worry that I will never have the pure heart I need to accomplish the great task that God gave us. But then I remember that’s okay. Christ gives me the strength to keep trying. The Holy Spirit brings the grace I need to try to care more about others than I care about myself. God brings you the same grace and strength.
Love my neighbor as myself? Challenge accepted.