Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time
If I asked you to picture someone getting emotional, maybe you’d picture someone sitting crying next to a box of tissues. At least for me, the first image coming to mind wouldn’t be someone jumping for joy finding out they got into their top school, nor would it be someone fuming and slamming a door. Both of those states would technically be “emotional”, though we usually use different words to describe them.
When we’re excited and overjoyed about something, we’re happy to share that with others, and as long as it’s not done in a “bragging” way, people are happy to hear our news and share in our excitement and joy. When we’re sad about something and we share that with our close friends or family, they often comfort us, or even grieve with us depending on the situation.
But then there’s anger, which is a little trickier to navigate for everyone. Let’s say your friend sits down next to you and starts venting about someone. What do you do? You want to be supportive; do you take their side and get angry yourself? Do you give them some space and try not to get involved? Do you try to explain how the “enemy” might be looking at things, risking your friend getting mad at you?
What about when you’re the one who’s mad? Being happy or sad doesn’t necessarily impact everyone around us in a negative way, but when we’re angry (or even “hangry”), we can be miserable to be around, and if we’re not careful we can start taking that out on others.
So is anger wrong? Well as an emotion that we experience, of course not. It’s no more wrong than being joyful or sorrowful about something. We can’t control the emotions we experience; but rather it’s what we do when we’re “emotional” that matters.
In the First Reading this week, there’s a great opening line, “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” So, the temptation when we’re angry is to hold onto that feeling, to cultivate it, and direct it not even toward the situation or the wrong that was done to us; but to the person who wronged us. Then we have Jesus in the Gospel telling us that even when someone has wronged us over and over again, we have to continue to forgive them; and that we should have mercy on others just as God has shown mercy to us.
So, think about someone you’re currently annoyed with, or even furious with. Maybe this isn’t the first time they’ve made you this angry. Is it okay that you’re feeling this way? Yes. Do you have to become best friends with this person or even keep them in your life? No. But if you’re doing anything from hoping they get a flat tire to plotting your revenge (e.g. causing said flat tire), you should take a moment and think about all the ways God has shown mercy to you in your life, and ask for the grace to show some of that same mercy to this person, even if you prudently keep your distance from them in the future. And if the situation is such that it’s possible to let them know your forgiveness and be reconciled with them, even better.