“The Good Book, Not The “Burn Book” by Rachael Flanagan, Fiat Ventures
Fifth Sunday of Easter
Perhaps you’ve seen the iconic (and disturbingly realistic) film depiction of teen girl life, entitled “Mean Girls.” In the movie, there is a scene where Katy is hanging out with the school’s most famous popular girls (a.k.a. the “Plastics”) in the head-honcho, Regina George’s, bedroom. The girls are looking at themselves in the mirror and picking apart their reflections: “My hips are huge!” “I hate my calves”…“Oh please! At least you guys can wear halters, I have man-shoulders…” Katy thinks to herself, I used to think there was only fat and skinny…Apparently there are lots of things that can be wrong with your body. The girls continue their litany of insults to themselves: “My hairline is so weird!” “My pores are huge!” “My nailbeds suck…” At this point, they stop and stare expectantly at Katy. She timidly tries, “I have really bad breath in the morning?”
Regina George replies, “Ewww.”
I love this scene because it demonstrates pretty truthfully the reality of girl-culture. Girls tend to criticize everything about themselves. I’ve kept a journal since I was in the 5th grade, and I remember as a teen filling page after page after page about things I didn’t like about myself. From physical features to my personality and intelligence, I routinely and almost ritualistically roasted myself for not being perfect.
I know this is not totally unique to females, however. Many people (male and female) struggle with loving themselves and seeing their own value. Whether this has come from an obsession with perfectionism or whether it’s from internalizing not-so-nice things people have said to us or how people have treated us in the past, sometimes we make ourselves into our biggest enemy. When the bible says to “love your neighbor as yourself,” the message can sometimes feel unclear. Of course we are supposed to realize our own worth and dignity and love ourselves, but sometimes we don’t. As a 16 year old girl, if I was to “love” my neighbor as myself and say things to my neighbor like “you’re pretty stupid, you’re nose is weird and you’ll probably never get a boyfriend,” I probably wouldn’t have had any friends at all. I would have been seen as the meanest, most critical and ruthless neighbor around. Everyone would have gotten out of town.
After spending time with many humans (perhaps Mary and Martha in particular…), Jesus must have caught onto this phenomenon. In today’s Gospel from John chapter 13, we hear a slightly different take on the commandment. “I have given you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” All of a sudden, the message becomes more clear. We can know how much God loves us. God the Father loves us so much that He sent us His only Son. And Jesus loves us so much that He hung on a cross and died for us. If we are supposed to love each other as God has loved us, by sacrificing for one another, showing mercy, acting with compassion and offering our lives in service to other people for the sake of their goodwill – that would be quite an amazing love indeed!
It’s important to give this commandment our best shot. Think about that guy who is always bullying people who are weaker than he is, or that girl who is always gossiping and talking behind everybody’s back. To be honest, that guy or that girl might not have been treated with great love in the past and they probably have a hard time loving themselves.
People belittle and bully others to feel better about themselves. Jesus challenges us in this Gospel to love these people as God has loved us, which means loving them even though they didn’t do anything to deserve our love. It doesn’t mean we have to “bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles” for “life ruiners who ruin lives,” but it does mean we shouldn’t be returning meanness with more meanness. It’s true that they didn’t do anything to deserve mercy, but neither did we to deserve God’s mercy. And that’s the difference between the Good Book and the “Burn Book.”