Eleventh Sunday of Ordinary Time
I’ve got to admit, I read through the lectionary this week and I was at a loss.
Nothing stood out, nothing grabbed my attention, nothing inspired me to write anything.
I was staring at words on a screen and had nothing. And it’s not from a lack of desire. I
love writing these posts and I’m often surprised by what the Holy Spirit says through
(and to) me when I am finished.
To provide a little bit of background, my kid has been home sick with a stomach
flu for two days, we’re currently going through a kitchen renovation, we found out that
my friend’s baby girl has a condition that could leave her blind, it’s a crazy time at work
with planning for the coming year and getting ready for major things over the
summer…there’s a ton going on and everything in my brain feels like water circling a
drain, but never clearing out. I’m swamped.
It’s affecting my prayer life too. I don’t have the most structured or robust prayer
life to begin with. It’s something I’m always working on and trying to expand. I go to
morning Mass Monday through Friday, mostly because squeezing prayer into my
mornings was not working. My family says grace before dinner whenever we eat
together. Finally, I try to spend at least 20 minutes praying at night before bed.
That last piece is the most vulnerable. And it’s the most important piece because
it is time that I set aside to spend with God to thank Him for my day, pray for the
intentions I have and ask Him to watch over my family as we rest. When life is hectic, I
just want to get to bed and prepare for the next day. I don’t want to give God that time
because I’m tired, I struggle to focus, and I feel like I’m doing a bad job of praying.
I know referencing the Catechism of the Catholic Church can make things sound
preachy, but what it says about prayer is incredibly encouraging. In the section on
prayer, it talks about how it can sometimes seem like a battle. It’s not always going to
come easy and, at least for me, it’s not always going to seem convenient or desirable.
Sometimes, we’re going to feel particularly unworthy to approach God and spend that
time with Him. How the Church talks about prayer offers hope because she recognizes
our struggles, validates the way we are feeling when we aren’t at our best, and
encourages us to slog through it even if it’s hard and we aren’t “getting anything out of
it.”
Again, the last part is particularly important. We don’t always feel like we’re doing
a good job or we don’t feel like our prayer is doing anything because we can’t feel it. But
that does NOT mean God isn’t working in us through our prayer. He can take anything
we give Him and, through His infinite grace and goodness, work in us the change we
hope for. He is there the whole time, battling with us when we struggle. God does not sit
on some distant throne awaiting what is His. He is in the trenches of this life along side
us. He’s got our back, protecting us from all that can assail us when we are down. He
pulls our arms over His shoulders and supports us when we are about to fall. If only we
will answer His call and battle through ourselves. It is when we can’t (or won’t) feel Him
that He is nearest.
Life happens. But God never stops calling. He never stops fighting. So, gear up,
prepare for battle, and LET US PRAY!