“Through the Desert” by Alexis Fuentes, Fiat Ventures
First Sunday of Lent
I woke up this morning, and my first thought was, “It’s Ash Wednesday!” It wasn’t a dreadful thought. It was joyful. Lent had begun; a time of self-emptying and repentance that would lead us to the rejoicing of Easter. I was so ready to fast and pray on this day, excited about what the season would teach me.
I went to the kitchen where my mother had very graciously prepared French toast for my children and me. I looked at the decadent meal awkwardly and said, “I’m not eating and, um, no syrup for the kids, okay.” This small condescension was enough to start the bitterest quarrel we’ve had in years. It began with syrup, escalated to grilled cheese, and suddenly we were degrading each other’s religious character! It was, in short, exactly what the Devil wanted on this beautiful holy day.
Isn’t it timely then, that, in this Sunday’s gospel, Jesus beckons us to come into the desert? Make no bones about it, that’s exactly what He’s doing. Wherever the Master goes, the disciples are fashioned to follow. And so, our journey into the desert begins. As I said earlier, these 40 days are a time of self-emptying and repentance. But what was it all about for Jesus? Why did he have to go into the desert? After all, Jesus is true God and true Man, aligned perfectly to the will of the Father. Why did he need to endure the wild barrenness of the desert?
As I wrestled with this question, the only answer I could come up with is, he didn’t! But how fitting it is that he did. For Christ is not only God-Made-Man. He is also Emmanuel, God With Us. As Christ walked through the desert, so Emmanuel walks with us through the deserts of our lives.
What would we find if we left all the distractions behind? What would be left when all the pleasantries and noise disappeared, and in their place only silence remained? What is left for me is simply the most honest version of myself; for it’s in the emptiness that I see everything that I am, and all that I’m not. The desert causes me to see that I am utterly dependent upon the love of God; that my very being is contingent upon His will for me. In the desert, I see the things I can’t cover up with make-up, perfume and photos worth a thousand likes. I see my own self-righteousness, my own habits for condescension, my own inflated ego with nothing to inflate it. As the sagacious 12 Steps Programs keenly articulate: “I’m an ego-maniac with a superiority complex.”
These are the things that make my soul feel dry, that cause me to sin against my neighbor and against myself. These are the very things that I must offer back up to God as sacrifice, for we have nothing to give God that isn’t already His, except for the gift of our own imperfections. The desert offers us the most refreshing vision of all that we are and of all that we lack.
The Devil delights in this lacking. He sees it as an opportunity for crippling destruction. He will use his cheapest tricks – agitating our fears, baiting our hunger and appealing to our egos. The Devil delights in this lacking, but so does the Lord. The Lord sees space, an opportunity for him to dwell and grow. That’s why Jesus goes there. That’s why He endures the desert. His willful sacrifice is a ringing bell: “Friends, face the desert and be not afraid, for I am there! I am with you. When you are nothing, I am everything. In me, you are complete. Come and find me here, and I will be your strength.”
In His encounter with Satan in the desert, Christ wields the Word of God as a sword and shield. Each time Satan attempts to lure Jesus under his power, He responds with the mighty Words revealed in Deuteronomy. In other words, Jesus himself recalls God’s emancipated people journeying through the desert! He is reminding us that God was with the Israelites then, and that He is with us now. Christ in the desert reminds us that He is our only way through the desert.
The Gospel tells us that after 40 days, he hungered (Mt 4:2.) Let’s be honest, Jesus was probably hungry after the first day of fasting. But after 40 days, it is no longer just food that he desires. Jesus is hungry for our souls! Satisfy the Lord with your soul this Lent. Follow Jesus into the desert, my friends, and in that emptiness, find everything that you are in Him.