Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time
When the world first shut down due to COVID-19, and the quarantine became a reality for all of us, lots of emotions presented themselves. Disappointment to miss out on upcoming trips or concerts, anxiety of the uncertainty of what was to come, relief to not have as many social encounters when out and about, and even excitement, to be able to stay home and catch up on new episodes of my favorite TV show. I was happy to be able to spend more time in my kitchen baking, listening to music and dancing around my room.
If I’m being honest with you, not much of that newly freed up time was dedicated to my struggling prayer life or spending time with my loved ones. Way far down on my list of things to do or to try, was diving back into scripture, or carving out time to sit in His presence. Extra time to sit and play board games with my siblings? It seems I was pretending that nothing had changed. All of a sudden, I was wanting to read that book that had been sitting on my shelf for years, and to tend to my drooping houseplants. Those things had been put off for so long, so saying that rosary or sharing some tea with my mom could wait just another day.
But, just one more day, turned into many, turned into weeks and even, sadly, a few months. Jesus went from being one of my best friends who I shared everything with, to that acquaintance I only saw every now and again from across the Church. I hadn’t even realized how far I had been drifting from Him, and how much it was affecting me.
In this week’s Gospel reading, the Pharisees try to test Jesus, asking him what the greatest commandment of the law is. He replies, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” During this period of isolation, this season of change, this weird new “normal,” my desire to know and love Jesus faltered. My relationship with Him was not top priority, it slipped from my mind.
But eventually it got to the point where I was longing deeply to be with Him again. In these more recent months of the pandemic, I was struck by this realization that without putting God in the center of every single thing I do, from my relationship with my sister, to offering up that big Biology test as a way to honor Him, none of my accomplishments or joys really matter. This passage from the Gospel of Matthew really cements this idea and is pushing me to go even further in reprioritizing my relationship with Him.
Later in the Gospel passage, Jesus follows the first and greatest commandment with another, “And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Being home with my whole family, after months of living away and having everyone on opposite schedules, was enough to drive everyone in my house crazy. But, even amidst the crazy, we were gifted with so much quality time together that will stay with us for years to come. I put down that book I had finally started, and cracked open the Jenga box. It was challenging, and so many times, amidst a game night with the family or while sitting with my scripture, all I wanted to do was run away. But like Jesus reminds us in Matthew, we are called to love Him above all things, and our neighbor as ourselves. It’s not an easy calling, and we will fail and fall while trying, but what matters most is that we get back up and keep trying, again and again.