The second reading today tends to cause some raised eyebrows, side comments and a general sense of unrest in the pews. Why, you ask? Well it’s the one where St Paul says “wives should be subordinate to their husbands.” But that’s only HALF of the sentence and a mere fraction of the entire reading. We have to look at the whole reading. Only then can we appreciate, understand and even love what St Paul is speaking about today. Listen up – because you may learn something here – a perspective – that even your parents aren’t aware of!
First off, Paul states that we should be “subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.” So, everyone is called to a certain level of subordination. What kind, though? Not the kind where you do whatever anyone tells you, where you don’t think for yourself, where you remain in abusive and destructive relationships. Rather, the kind of subordination where you are willing to put your needs second to serve someone else, where you love even when you think you don’t have it in you anymore, where you respect someone who is different from you. Everyone is called to that type of sacrifice.
Now we get to the marriage part: “wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. [don’t stop reading!!] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her … so also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” We cannot disconnect the word subordinate or submission from LOVE. The wife is called to come “under the mission” of the husband. What mission is that? A mission of love. What kind of love? Not just an “I bring you flowers on your birthday” love, but also a sacrificial love. The husband is called to love his wife just as Christ loved the Church. The husband must be willing to die, to lay down his life, for his wife. This is a very tall order! Can you sense how distorted this reading has become in our culture? People mistakenly label Paul as a misogynist. But in fact he is raising the dignity of women by calling men to put themselves second, to lead their families with their wives, toward Christ. So in conclusion, we are ALL called to submit to each other through sacrificial love. In particular, husbands are called to imitate Christ by sacrificial love in marriage, and the wife comes “under this mission” of sacrificial love. There’s much more we could go into but we just don’t have the time! However, if this topic has perked your interest, I recommend reading Christopher West’s book “Theology of the Body for Beginners” which you can buy online.
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